Fat shaming, disguised as friendly advice or well-intentioned concern, is a daily reality for many individuals struggling with weight issues. Those who are overweight often find themselves trapped in a specific stereotype, labeled as lazy, undisciplined, and disobedient when it comes to following medical advice. They endure ridicule and derogatory comments. In this article, we will delve into the concept of fat shaming, explore whether it can actually help someone lose weight, and examine our true motivations behind wanting someone to shed pounds.
While the adverse health effects of obesity are well-documented, what about the impacts of stereotypes and discrimination? What role do these play, and do they genuinely help people in their weight loss journey? Let’s start by addressing a few questions: Have you ever felt insecure about your body? Are you struggling with excess weight? Do you believe that losing weight would make you happier? Do you think the same way about others?
From the vantage point of these and other beliefs, we attempt to make sense of the world, make choices for ourselves, and decide how to treat others. There are no secrets when it comes to the link between sadness and excess weight. According to research by Pratt and Brody (2014), obesity and depression co-occur in 43% of cases (sample: American adults), with a higher obesity rate observed among individuals with severe depressive symptoms. The entire spectrum of depressive states is characterized by apathy, a lack of motivation for functional behaviors, sadness, and emotional numbness. In such a state, finding motivation for weight loss or standing up for oneself in stigmatizing circumstances becomes challenging. Nevertheless, fat jokes persist, and they are culturally acceptable in the Western world.
Lindo Bacon, author of “Body Respect,” stated in the book: “We don’t have an obesity epidemic; we have an epidemic of judgment, bias, and hyperbole.” Indeed, judgment is a significant societal issue that seems to perpetuate the very problem it purports to address. Consider a study by Neumark-Sztainer (2002), which included nearly 5,000 adolescents. A staggering 63% of obese girls and 58% of obese boys reported being teased about their weight at school, while 47% of girls and 34% of boys heard such comments at home. Among adolescents who reported frequent exposure to these teasing comments, 29% of girls and 18% of boys engaged in binge eating, compared to 16% of girls and 7% of boys in the obese adolescent group who were not exposed to such comments. People often say, “If we make fun of them, they will be more mindful of what they eat.” However, the data suggest otherwise.
Jackson and colleagues (2014) conducted a longitudinal study involving men and women aged 50 and older, examining their experiences of weight-based discrimination. Over time, those who experienced more discrimination significantly increased their body weight. Discrimination, according to the authors, promotes weight gain and the onset of obesity. In another study, Schweiger and colleagues (2011) successfully demonstrated that exposure to weight stigma (watching a shaming video) increased, rather than decreased, calorie intake in women during their next meal. Moreover, the group of women who viewed content that stigmatized weight consumed three times more calories compared to the group that watched a neutral video. Does discrimination ever encourage positive change in society?
Shaming within families
Society’s stigma can be particularly damaging when individuals lack a safe haven, especially at home. In a qualitative study by Wansink and Wansink (2003) on fat-shaming comments, participants emphasized the hurtful comments made by family members. Parents should never set parameters for what bodies deserve love, respect, and parental care because children should receive those regardless of their appearance. When faced with such criticism, people, especially young individuals, internalize feelings of inferiority, believing they must lose weight to be loved.
If you have health concerns, do you go to the doctor?
Anti-fat bias is present even among medical professionals. In a study involving 2,500 obese individuals in the United States, 53% reported inappropriate comments about their weight from doctors. Such negative interactions in medical settings discourage patients from seeking help when needed due to fear of judgment. Some studies suggest that obese individuals are less likely to undergo preventive screenings for breast, cervical, and anal cancer (Amy et al., 2006). Healthcare facilities often lack clothing and equipment suitable for all patients, such as MRI machines. It seems that inadequate care does not anger us enough, as some individuals might say, “They only have themselves to blame.”
Many comments about overweight individuals are cloaked in statements like, “But it’s not healthy the way they look,” seemingly expressing concern for their well-being. However, those who claim to “care” about overweight individuals have likely not read any scientific research or consulted experts on how to motivate someone to lose weight. The greater paradox emerges when people “care” about overweight individuals they don’t even know personally, saying, “She shouldn’t have her own podcast that everyone watches, as it sends the message that it’s okay to look like that, and she won’t lose weight… I’m concerned for her; it’s not healthy for her.”
Let’s step out of this situation for a moment. Everyone in this world makes both good and bad decisions for themselves. For most of our loved ones, and especially for people we don’t know, we don’t hold their unhealthy habits against them if those habits don’t harm us directly—we don’t take it personally, and we understand why they do it. However, in this context, we throw judgment and “concern” at the same time. Labeling your shaming views as concern is often a rationalization of their negativity. Like any other prejudice, we can work on it by first recognizing it and then “catching” ourselves in everyday life.
Behaviors and thoughts to watch out for include:
- Do you react when you witness someone making fun of another person’s weight?
- Do you comment on (only) someone’s body weight when you see them in the media?
- Do you comment on the appropriateness of another person’s body size and shape?
- Do you judge someone’s character and morality based on their weight?
- Do you consider people who don’t prioritize healthy eating as “less worthy” than yourself?
- Do you feel superior to overweight individuals?
What can you say instead? The answer can be found in the study by Wansink and Wansink (2003), researchers who investigated the usefulness of supportive words for individuals who had experienced weight-based violence. Participants preferred compliments unrelated to weight, such as compliments about their eyes and smiles. Another type of comment highlighted was comments about impact, such as having an infectious laugh or radiating joy. The third category of positive comments consisted of comments about identity: “You are captivating.” Moreover, if you are unsure, you can simply be curious and ask.
“How can I help you?” “How can I be there for you?” “How does it sound when I say (this) or do (that)?” Apologizing is a powerful
tool for connection and empathy, allowing you to recognize and take responsibility for your past shaming behavior.
No one, regardless of how they look or what and how much they eat, deserves violence, insults, or discrimination. Despite everyone having (at least) one unhealthy habit, we don’t expect or want others to scrutinize them. Everyone has them. However, it seems that everyone has advice when it comes to someone else’s eating or exercise habits, especially for overweight individuals. The popular spin is that we end up discussing the victims of stigma, not the perpetrators (an oddly familiar rhetoric). We need to spotlight those who perpetuate and sustain this stigma. When we keep our focus on the primary discourse, which is the widespread and uncontrolled hatred, rather than individual weight loss, we will all be happier (and healthier).
