These behaviors indicate that you’re not okay, even if you think you are. Others notice it, and denying the problems won’t make them disappear.
You may be feeling some dissatisfaction, experiencing certain disturbances, and something is bothering you. However, you firmly believe that you just need to stay positive and convince yourself and others that everything is fine.
Unfortunately, this self-deception doesn’t bring any well-being in the future. In order to understand what’s really not okay and make progress in that area, you must first admit these suppressed negative emotions to yourself and to others.
Here are some signs that you’re not okay, even if you think or claim you are:
Your brain doesn’t allow you to relax
Sleep disorders, difficulty falling asleep, waking up at night, and insomnia are all signs that something is not right. Sleep disturbances can also include excessive sleep, where even after 12 hours of sleep, you wake up tired and unable to feel rested.
In the case of insomnia, your brain doesn’t allow you to relax and demands that you engage in problem-solving. In the other case, you’re in a survival mode of trauma, where your brain “shuts off” in an attempt to sleep through the time needed for recovery. However, this usually doesn’t happen because you only feel sleepier, more lethargic, and more depressed.
In both cases, your body is sending a clear and unambiguous message that something is wrong and needs your attention.
Your fuse is short, and you create unnecessary drama.
You’re anxious and prone to picking fights and making a scene, even in situations that could be resolved calmly or where there isn’t actually a problem until you create one with your behavior.
Perhaps you tell yourself that you have the right to express your feelings and that others are being unfair, and that nobody understands you or that you’re just a little more sensitive than usual (and no one understands that either). But when your family and friends actively start avoiding you because you’ve picked on everyone, you can’t console yourself with excuses.
When you’re not okay towards others, chances are you’re not okay with yourself either, and your loved ones show that by not wanting to participate in the drama.
You strive for perfection
Perfectionism is often associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder and differs from the pursuit of improvement and progress. When you’re not okay, you may excessively focus on perfection, trying to distract yourself and divert attention from your own problems.
If you persistently work and work, yet things are never good enough, you may be in a state where nothing can satisfy or bring you happiness. At that point, perfectionism can escalate into anxiety and depression.
You’re unable to let go
An obsessive mood is never a good sign because holding onto something even when it’s not good for you definitely means you’re not okay.
When you’re not okay, you can’t let go and forgive something that has hurt, angered, or frustrated you. It’s like constantly picking at a wound, not allowing it to heal.
You try to convince people that you’re okay
When you’re not okay, people around you notice it and ask if you’re alright. When this happens frequently and you persistently claim that you’re fine, it means they’re noticing something that you don’t want to see or accept. You might be angry that they won’t leave you alone, but if everyone around you is concerned for you, it’s a clear sign that something is wrong.
You’re constantly exhausted
Persistent fatigue and exhaustion can be a sign of depression, especially if you sleep a lot but still struggle to rest. You lack energy for things you usually enjoy, and you have no motivation for anything. Denying that you’re not okay is not okay – it’s alright to admit to yourself that you can’t handle it on your own and that you need help!
It’s completely normal to experience such moods, but it’s best to talk to loved ones or a psychologist if they persist for a longer period. You need to be aware of the existence of the problem if it arises, as that’s the only way to have a chance of overcoming it. By sweeping things “under the rug” or denying the existence of the problem, you only prolong and deepen it.
