Praise kink means that a person can get aroused when receiving compliments or words of praise in general.
Sexuality is a highly personal matter, and it shouldn’t be tied to ethics. Everyone has their own fantasies, kinks, or fetishes, and we encourage you to explore them and discover what can enhance your sexual pleasure. Perhaps the “praise kink” is something you might enjoy.
Recently, on TikTok, sexual therapist Nicole K. McNichols talked about a trend of giving compliments during sexual encounters that many women enjoy, calling it the “praise kink.”
What is a praise kink?
Firstly, it’s important to define what a kink is.
- In order for something to be considered a kink, it must elicit a reaction of sexual arousal and be something that is not typically seen as a sexual act, says Stefani Goerlich, a certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist at Bound Together Counseling, for Insider.
So, what does it mean to have a praise kink? According to Goerlich, it means that you might get aroused when receiving compliments or words of praise in general.
Of course, most people enjoy and appreciate compliments, partly because of how we are wired.
- When we receive praise from someone, it activates the ventral striatum, one of the brain’s reward centers. The striatum then releases dopamine, which triggers a physiological response in the brain very similar to an orgasm, leaving us feeling happy and satisfied, Goerlich explains.
However, a praise kink leads to sexual arousal, and these are the signs:
Physical signs of excitement – such as blushing or a genital response when you’re praised.
Intentionally seeking opportunities to please someone because you want to receive compliments that will trigger an excitement response.
Using compliments as a form of flirting or foreplay.
A praise kink can exist on a spectrum, from giving and receiving compliments in the bedroom to being the foundation for a dominant-submissive relationship.
The icing on the cake
A praise kink often involves some form of erotic power exchange between a submissive and dominant partner, says Lee Phillips, a psychotherapist, and certified sex therapist.
Compliments can go in any direction, depending on which partner has the praise kink. For instance, the submissive partner may say, “Yes, Master, you’re doing an amazing job, you’re the best,” while the dominant partner might say, “Good girl” or “Good boy.”
Everyone experiences the praise kink differently. For some individuals, the desire for compliments can be so intense that they need words of affirmation or praise to experience orgasm, says Phillips. For others, it’s just the icing on the cake.
How to experiment with praise in the bedroom?
It all comes down to how you and your partner want to experiment and what works best for you. No, you don’t have to practice BDSM; you can simply focus on compliments. Here are some tips for experimenting with praise in the bedroom:
Start by having a conversation
Before experimenting, it’s crucial to have an open, honest conversation about consent and boundaries. You need to communicate directly what you want to try. While these conversations may not always be comfortable, Phillips recommends starting by emphasizing that you enjoy sex with your partner and then expressing your desire to be creative and try something new. After that, explain what a praise kink is and how you’d like to explore it.
Be specific about your desires
Since this kind of kink focuses on words, it’s essential to clearly communicate the words or phrases you enjoy and the ones you want to avoid completely. You can also discuss who will take on the dominant and submissive roles.
“When you want to take on the role of the dominant or submissive partner, be precise with the phrases you want to use because some can be off-putting,” says Phillips.
Ultimately, discussing desires and boundaries beforehand will make the sexual experience more enjoyable.
Compliment your partner in the bedroom
If your partner enjoys hearing compliments, shower them with praise and use positive phrases during sexual situations. Phillips advises focusing on their abilities in bed, their attractiveness, or how much you appreciate their care and love. For example, you can tell them how well-endowed they are, how sexy they look performing a certain action, or how they bring you to orgasm. In fact, it’s essential to highlight what you love about your partner, so be creative.
Compliment their appearance uniquely
Someone inclined towards praise kinks may enjoy receiving compliments about their appearance that do not solely focus on specific physical attributes, says Goerlich. You can try some of these:
- “When I see you, my knees go weak.”
- “The way you move is so sexy.”
- “I want to show you off to everyone tonight.”
- “You attract attention wherever you go.”
- “You magnetically draw me in, and I can’t resist it.”
Compliment your partner outside the bedroom
You don’t have to wait for sex to show your partner that you appreciate them, and praising outside the bedroom can help set the stage for sexy moments, says Goerlich. It can serve as foreplay and let your partner know that you value them all the time, not just during sex. You can try some of these compliments:
- “You handled that situation X amazingly.”
- “My life is better since you’re in it.”
- “You make me happy.”
- “The way you handled that was graceful, powerful, and sexy.”
